I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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