I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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