So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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