4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize