Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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