everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
