Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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