I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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