Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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