Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize