i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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