the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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