I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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