So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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