win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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