you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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