dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize