We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize