I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize