I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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