This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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