Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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