no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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