...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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