my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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