Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
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Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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