The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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