paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
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We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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