I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize