My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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