I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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