You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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