I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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