be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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