I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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