if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize