Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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