I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
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I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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