i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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