I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
