I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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