I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize