Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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