My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize