I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize