Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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