if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize