I have demons in me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize