Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My cat gives me a boner
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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