My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize